I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize