I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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