oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
