Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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