i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
