You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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