So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
