He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
