if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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