I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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