we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
