"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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