I think I died a long time ago.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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