Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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