I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
