Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
