Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
