I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I deserve this hangover.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
