he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Are we still banned from the library?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
