if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How does one acquire holy water?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
