quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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