I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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