she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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