do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
