the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
