Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Randomize
