I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
