we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
