oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
