I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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