is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
