Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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