smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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