Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You did what with his pubic hair?
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