"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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