there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize