It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
