Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
