i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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