I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
