Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
