I bet he comes in French.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
