This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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