my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
