I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
