What did we do last night that was yellow?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
