Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
