she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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