I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize