I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
