I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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