Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
