Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
