what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
